Monday, August 25, 2008

Sad Mommy

Have you ever seen your child get pushed for no good reason? Why do kids want to hit others? I guess it all goes back to that sin we are born with. We are so mean and selfish even from the beginning. We went to church yesterday and dropped the girls off in the nursery as usual. Both girls were promoted a few Sundays ago so they are in new rooms but mostly the same kids. I always love to peak around the corner to watch Bay play when possible. Bay's new room is now on my way to the sanctuary so you know Mama will be peaking every Sunday. Especially after what I saw this past Sunday. So, I saw her and another girl playing on a slide. They were both on top and then Bay slid down. After the other girl slid, she stood up and pushed Bay and then laughed. Now, this angered me but I thought, "kids are kids, they are mean and push sometimes. It was just one hit. no big deal. it didn't seem to both Bay too much." This was me trying to rationalize the situation since I am not really suppose to be watching in case Bay sees me. These rooms have a two way mirror for nosy moms like me who want to check on their kids. So back to the story: Bay was minding her own business and the girl pushed her again, harder. That's 2 pushes, people. Oh Bay. I love you so. You should have seen the frustration on her face. She didn't know what to do but it made her sad and angry. She scrunched up her face with frustration and sadnness and looked down as she clinched her fist beside her. That was it. I had to step in. As I was about to say something the girl pushed her two more times. That is now 4 pushes. She pushed her from the slide to the changing table. I was so mad. They were behind the teacher and she was changing a diaper. She looked very busy. I told her that the girl had pushed Bay and apologized for intruding. I had never needed to do this before. All through church Bay's expression when she was pushed kept going through my mind and it sadden me so. It brought tears to my eyes. I felt so sorry for her and wanted to protect her so bad. She was completely innocent. When we went to pick her up I saw the girl push her again. This will not happen next Sunday. I will make them fully aware of this bully. I don't know why Bay was the target. Maybe because she is so darn cute. For the rest of the day I talked to Bay about when others push her: "pushing is bad, say 'no pushing', tell your teacher, mommy, or daddy, etc". I am not sure if she understands. I will remind her before this Sunday. I could not fall asleep last night. I think I stayed awake until 1:30 or so just thinking. I kept seeing the event in my head and it brought tears to my eyes. This probably seems silly to people but it truly disturbed me. Since I was awake, I was talking to God and I began to think of Mary and Jesus. Jesus was completely innocent and yet he was nailed to the cross to die for us. I felt I could relate to a small small small piece of Mary's sadness as she watch her son be hurt by others. She could do nothing. I would not have wanted to be Mary at that moment. Thank you God for sending Jesus to die for me. Thank you for your grace and mercy on me. Thank you for your love. You are an awesome God.


KA said...

I like this. Needed it. When I'm there, noone better be pushing on Bay.

spear-britney said...

Such a great post, Annette.
Such truth to it!
I've thought of this often this past week as my friend lost her 4-yr. old nephew to brain cancer. I kept thinking "Why God? Why cause this pain to a mother?" And as a mother I could not imagine how much grief she is experiencing...but God kept reminding me that he lost a Son, too, so he definitely knows the pain of seeing a child suffer.